15 Years of Fostering — An Interview with Trudy

Trudy has been a foster carer with Futures Group for 15 years. In that time she has cared for more than 30 children, ranging from newborns to teenagers. We sat down with Trudy to hear her story in her own words.

What Made You First Think About Fostering?

“I had always known, somewhere in the back of my mind, that I wanted to do something that really mattered. I had my own children and loved being a mum, and when they got a bit older I started thinking about what I could do next. A friend of mine had just been approved as a foster carer and she talked me into going along to an information evening. I walked in not knowing what to expect and came out thinking ‘this is it.’”

What Was Your First Placement Like?

“My first placement was a five-year-old boy called...well, I can’t say his name, but I’ll call him Danny. He arrived on a Friday night with nothing but a carrier bag. I remember putting him to bed that first night and just sitting in the hallway for a while afterwards, feeling the weight of what I’d taken on. He was with me for eight months. It was challenging and wonderful in equal measure. I still think about him all the time.”

What Has Been the Hardest Part Over 15 Years?

“Without a doubt, the goodbyes. Every time a child leaves, no matter how well you know it’s the right outcome for them, it hurts. You’ve loved them, you’ve fought for them, you’ve lost sleep over them. And then one day they’re gone. I’ve cried more times than I can count. But I’ve also learned to hold both things at once — the sadness and the pride. Because every goodbye means a child is moving forward.”

What Has Surprised You Most About Fostering?

“How much I’ve grown as a person. I thought I was going into it to give something, and I have, I hope, but I’ve received so much in return. These children have taught me patience, resilience, perspective and unconditional love in a way I never expected. It’s made me a better mum, a better person.”

How Has Futures Group Supported You?

“I’ve had the same Supervising Social Worker for nine years, which tells you something. The continuity matters so much. She knows me, she knows my family, she knows how I work. When things get tough, and sometimes they really do, I can call her and know I’m going to get honest, helpful support. The training has been brilliant too. I’m never made to feel like I’ve finished learning.”

What Would You Say to Someone Thinking About Fostering?

“Just make the call. Don’t talk yourself out of it before you’ve even found out the facts. People assume they won’t be good enough, or that their house isn’t right, or that they’re too old, or too young, or too something. But the children who need foster carers don’t need perfect people. They need real people who show up, who care, and who stick around. If that’s you, and I think it probably is if you’re reading this, please get in touch.”