Supporting Children to Keep in Touch with Their Birth Families

For most children in foster care, maintaining a connection with their birth family is a vital part of their identity, their wellbeing and their long-term outcomes. As a foster carer, you have a key role in making that connection as safe and positive as possible. Here's what you need to know.

Why Is Birth Family Contact Important?

Research consistently shows that children who maintain safe and meaningful contact with their birth families tend to have better emotional outcomes. For most children, their family, even a family that has let them down, remains deeply important to their sense of self. Maintaining contact also supports reunification planning where this is the goal, and helps children process their experiences rather than suppressing them.

What Does 'Family Time' Look Like?

Contact between a child and their birth family is usually referred to as 'family time' and is arranged by the child's Social Worker. It can take many forms:

• Supervised face-to-face visits in a contact centre or family home

• Unsupervised visits as trust and safety increases

• Phone or video calls with parents, siblings or grandparents

• Letter or card exchanges, sometimes referred to as letterbox contact

• Indirect contact such as photographs or updates shared via Social Workers

The frequency and nature of contact is determined by the child's care plan and will be reviewed regularly.

What Is the Foster Carer's Role in Contact?

Your role is to support the child before, during and after family time. This includes:

• Preparing the child emotionally for the visit i.e helping them feel positive and calm

• Ensuring they are clean, smartly dressed and on time for contact appointments

• Supporting them to process their feelings after a visit, which can sometimes be unsettling

• Recording any significant observations or concerns to share with the Social Worker

• Remaining neutral and not speaking negatively about the birth family in front of the child

What If Contact Is Distressing for the Child?

It is not uncommon for children to show unsettled behaviour in the days before or after family time. This is normal and does not necessarily mean the contact itself is harmful. However, if you have genuine concerns about the impact of a specific contact arrangement on the child's wellbeing, it is important to raise these with the child's Social Worker promptly and document your observations carefully.

Keeping a Positive Attitude

One of the most important things a foster carer can do is to speak positively about the birth family where it is safe and appropriate to do so. Children are acutely sensitive to the feelings of the adults around them. If they sense that their foster carer disapproves of or dislikes their family, this can create a painful internal conflict. Your ability to hold both relationships, namely the child's connection to you and their connection to their family, is a real sign of professional skill.

We Support You With This

Managing birth family contact can sometimes be emotionally complex, particularly if the child's history involves serious harm. Your Supervising Social Worker and our wider team are here to support you through these moments. We provide training, supervision and guidance to help you navigate contact with confidence and care.